i love working!!

i love the feeling of belonging!!

on one random day, i took half day off from work cause i woke up late..
den, when i reach my office at 2pm, as i opened the door, i could hear:
"oh it's kelly!! kelly, where are you? i miss you so much!! oh kelly!!"

haha.. it's spoken in mandarin lah, sound so not cheesy BUT, im really shock by their reaction lo!
hey hey, they are surprise and excited to see me eh! how nice.. =))

sometimes, even if you are late or din go to any event etc, ppl around may not even give it a damn.

their reaction really makes my day! =DD

feeling rather down lately, can't find any reason to smile.
alot of things had happened, i don like it.

crying alone in this big yet, empty room is really killing me.
nights after nights, who will come for me?

"you'll get busy wearing white after lunar new year" some priest told my uncle.

Now, i really pray and wish hard that lunar new year will never come by.. or rather, that priest is wrong, so so so wrong. i know she cant be right all the time. this time she has made an error for sure.

no mood for new year, let alone my birthday. what can i do for 21st? i don know. no mood to think. im like losing interest for almost everything.

life is very sian to me. alot of no-choice i've to face and bear. hate it.

family, r/s, friends, .. nothing goes on smoothly..

sis is away at shanghai. i miss her so much. cried hard before she left the house. din send her off. i know i cant do it. i hope she'll be happy and safe and healthy. i love her and i cant wait for next sun to arrive.

now, the room is very empty. suddenly realise how much i rely on her. just being away for 9days is a struggle to me. come back soon jie.

paternal side of family is now showing out their ugly side for money. daddy made some money from my grandfather house and now, everyone is aiming for that huge sum. why are they like that? is that few grands so impt that they can forget about their kinship? talking about contribution when they din even put in effort to strive for better future? hais. ugly truth is disgusting.

johnny, as usual, go club/pub too often. i don feel good. guys and girls' point of view is really different. i don wanna elaborate here cause i know we'll be fine after the dark cloud above me is gone. im covered with gloomyness now and it has affected him so much so that both of us often sit down don know what to say/do.

my feeling is like snowball, getting heavier each day. i wish it will stop. i wanna be happy. i wanna bring happiness to everyone.

friends, i miss them. it's complicated. its not as easy as saying ilu and they'll say back to u. sometimes, its like a single side thingy. i don't know exactly how to handle. i know ive got a few really close and good ones, that's should be content, right? but why am i feeling this way? hais.

i'll find back my smile soon.

i don't laugh, now, i don't wish to forget my smile.


however, on a lighter note, im working well in singtel.
colleages there treat me very nicely.
i've made quite a number of new friends, and they are good people.
now, i love working.
i enjoy the time there.
but after work, sian-ness is back. Zzzz

life's like this?
hais.

16th dec is mummy's birthday.
nobody is free to pei her, maybe that's the sad part as a housewife bah.
applied leave for tat day, i'll make her happy, keep her accompany.
but first, please take this gloomyness away from me.

Labels: i need my sunshine